Monday, August 19, 2013

Dick's Law

You all know about Murphy's Law. It basically states that "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Just under two years ago, I had written this rather long rant about The Arsenal and Murphy's Law. At that time it just felt so frustrating to be an Arsenal fan - one just felt that everything possible was going wrong for us. Injuries, Oil money fueled rivals, financial constraints with the move to the new stadium, a youth project going wrong and so on. But boy, that frustration was nothing to what Arsenal fans have been experiencing this summer.
I have tried to make sense of it with  Donald Rumsfeld and all that. But I found another law to explain this. DICK'S LAW.

Dick's Law states that " Anything that can go wrong in the transfer window, will go wrong". Here are some illustrative examples of Dick's Law.

Note: All players sign for long terms contracts of an unspecified duration for an unspecified fee. Unless they are free.

  1. If there are 90 days in a transfer window, you will really go to work only on the 90th day ! 
  2. If you want to sign a "top, top, top quality" player, he will not be available.
  3. If you want to sign a "top top quality" player who is available, you will be upstaged by a richer club.
  4. If you reverse the scenario and upstage rivals to sign a player who you think is "top top quality", he will prove to be a dud.
  5. If a transfer can be done for free, you will wait for one full season for that to happen and do nothing in between about it.
  6. If there is a player to be signed for $ X Mil, you will offer only 50% or so of the amount and piss off the selling club.
  7. If you want to buy a player but cannot quickly decide and agree the price with a seller, you will be upstaged by another club.
  8. If you think you are a Champions League club, you have the money to spend for both wages and transfer, you will be attractive to a player - you will be not - because the player is not sure of a regular starting place.
  9. If you think you can trust the agent of a player and buy a superstar want-away player - you cannot - cause the agent was smoking!
  10. If you think you can sign a youngster on the cheap, you cannot because he won't get a work permit !
  11. If nothing works, you just celebrate everyone returning from injury as just like new signings.
PS: The above was just for a bit of fun.

For now, let us just enjoy this masterpiece by Gunnerblog !

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