Monday, August 19, 2013

Dick's Law

You all know about Murphy's Law. It basically states that "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Just under two years ago, I had written this rather long rant about The Arsenal and Murphy's Law. At that time it just felt so frustrating to be an Arsenal fan - one just felt that everything possible was going wrong for us. Injuries, Oil money fueled rivals, financial constraints with the move to the new stadium, a youth project going wrong and so on. But boy, that frustration was nothing to what Arsenal fans have been experiencing this summer.
I have tried to make sense of it with  Donald Rumsfeld and all that. But I found another law to explain this. DICK'S LAW.

Dick's Law states that " Anything that can go wrong in the transfer window, will go wrong". Here are some illustrative examples of Dick's Law.

Note: All players sign for long terms contracts of an unspecified duration for an unspecified fee. Unless they are free.

  1. If there are 90 days in a transfer window, you will really go to work only on the 90th day ! 
  2. If you want to sign a "top, top, top quality" player, he will not be available.
  3. If you want to sign a "top top quality" player who is available, you will be upstaged by a richer club.
  4. If you reverse the scenario and upstage rivals to sign a player who you think is "top top quality", he will prove to be a dud.
  5. If a transfer can be done for free, you will wait for one full season for that to happen and do nothing in between about it.
  6. If there is a player to be signed for $ X Mil, you will offer only 50% or so of the amount and piss off the selling club.
  7. If you want to buy a player but cannot quickly decide and agree the price with a seller, you will be upstaged by another club.
  8. If you think you are a Champions League club, you have the money to spend for both wages and transfer, you will be attractive to a player - you will be not - because the player is not sure of a regular starting place.
  9. If you think you can trust the agent of a player and buy a superstar want-away player - you cannot - cause the agent was smoking!
  10. If you think you can sign a youngster on the cheap, you cannot because he won't get a work permit !
  11. If nothing works, you just celebrate everyone returning from injury as just like new signings.
PS: The above was just for a bit of fun.

For now, let us just enjoy this masterpiece by Gunnerblog !

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Donald Rumsfeld explains Arsenal's transfer window

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know.
(Eg: We know Arsenal has bid £40,000,001 for Luis Suarez. Or we know we have fucked up our pursuit of Gonzalo Higuain).

There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know.
(EG: We don't know what exactly is the so called release clause in Suarez's contract. We don't know what are some of the deals, if any, that Arsenal are working. YAYA SANOGO could be the next Thierry Henry. WHO IS DICK LAW ?  )

But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
(Obviously this cannot be explained but think Amauri Bischoff  - #Getit ? )

PS: In the meanwhile, you can always enjoy this ! 

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