Friday, April 2, 2010

How to Bath and Use Toiletries

Some days ago, while reading 'The Economic Times' I came across this article Daily baths harm environment . And then I realised that this article is exactly what lazy, hydrophobic boys needed as a weapon against their eager, over-zealous mummies hell bent on making them bath n number of times a day, so that they can stay clean. I know folks who as kids were forced to bath once before going to school, bath after coming back, bath after coming from the playground, bath before going to bed etc etc.
In any case now, for folks to be "Cool", you need to be a member of the eco-club at the school or college, show your concern for the environment by switching off Lights for one hour on a randomly selected day, participate in Greenathons and other such stuff.  And so, how can you continue to take baths everyday, when #1 - IPL commentators are asking us not to take long showers as it wastes water and #2 - Research shows that increased usage of toiletries is polluting the environment.
So, in order to help all the environment-conscious people I have decided to draw up the following 10 point-policy of How to Bath and Use Toiletries:
1) Bathing is allowed only twice a week.
2) One medium sized bucket filled 3/4ths with water is allowed for bathing.
3) Soap can be applied only a once week (during the two baths mentioned in #1).
4) Shower baths are a strict no-no. However on special occassions like birthdays and anniversaries, a quick 30 second light-shower can be indulged in under strict supervision of your guardian or partner.
5) Brushing teeth is permitted for twice a day only. Needless to say, taps must be closed while brushing is in progress.
6) Men can shave twice a week at most. Usage of shaving cream is recommended over shaving foam.
7) Shampoo to be applied on hair only once a month. In case you have too much dandruff, going for a bald look with bandana is preferred.
8) Deodrants and body odours to be applied on Monday mornings only.
9) Perfumes can be used for special ocassions limited to a maximum of six usages in a year. Choose them carefully.
10) While effect of usage of hair oil and hair-gel on the environment is still being debated, it is suggested that a limited usage of both can be continued for the time being. However, the usage is prohibited currently on the two days of the week, when bathing has been done.
General Note to the environmentally conscious: The above guidelines refer to the MAXIMUM usage allowed. Folks are encouraged to "optimise" usage of water and toiletries in as many ways as possible. As an example - hostel folks can go in for a "Group-bath" as illustrated in the movie 3 Idiots. Care must be taken however, the total usage of water of x number of people bathing together should not exceed x buckets of water.
PS: It has to be mentioned that my current bathing patterns and usage of toiletries, while not exactly conforming to the aforesaid policy, is actually very similar. I have been protecting the environment all these years, without actually realising

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