Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Stating the Obvious

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
A few days ago, Arindam Chaudhary released his book - Discover the Diamond in You - a book to be read fast ( a la fast food). The book release however made the headlines for all the wrong reasons as SRK declared there that he wants to be a porn star. But that earth-shattering statement did not make the ripples it normally would as within days, the country's attention was brought to the state of Andhra Pradesh, or Telengana or somewhere around that.
And to analyse this, IndiaTV brought Chaudhary to their studio. With his tremendous intellect, he said that the thing which has the most impact on people and indeed the politicians is books. And the turmoil in Andhra can be attributed to the release of a very recent book, which has been already read by all and sundry. A book so important, so sensational and yet so simple that from school kids to surgeons, from professors to politicians, almost everyone in the country had read it in the last two months. The IndiaTV anchor was well... not so well read.. and so he asked - but Mr Chaudhary which is this book that has caused this situation? And Chaudhary, a little disappointed that his book didn't quite have the same impact, said well... it's obvious, isn't it? - Chetan Bhagat's - TWO STATES... what else?
And just like that, without contesting a single election or even giving a single political speech, Chetan Bhagat had impacted the politics of this country with the same effect as that of the Mandal Movement. KCR had been the first one to understand the absolutely simple meaning of the book - or at least the cover - TWO STATES. And now within days, wherever there is ONE STATE today, people started to want TWO. Gorkhaland from W.Bengal, Maru Pradesh from Rajasthan and Bodoland from Assam are just some of the many demands cropping up.
The only state where politicians have rejected the TWO STATES theory is of course UP. In a rare show of political consensus Rajnath Singh, Mulayam Singh, Ajit Singh and Mayawati came together to say that UP is a state, which if it was a country would be the sixth biggest in the world. And hence they want many states, not just two and they will follow the policy of divide and rule of the British, rather than of the new kid on the block - Chetan Bhagat.
Among one of the many new state demands that came into the news, was that of Kosal or Kosala in Orissa: . The name somehow triggered the Ramayan in my mind. So to check it further, I visited the website of the party demanding the state - The Kosala Kranti Dal. And lo and behold - my instinct was right. It seems that the demand for this state had been from the
time of Lava and Kusha - the sons of Lord Rama !!! - .
So, I strongly suggest that you bring out the epics from your shelf and map out your current location to an ancient kingdom. And then go on a little fast. You shall soon be in a hospital and then have your very own little state.
And this news just in: Amar Singh, who has been on a book reading spree, announced in a press conference, that he had just finished reading Dan Brown's - The Lost Symbol. He also said that the ending of the book had been under the influnce of the CBI (The Congress Bureau of Investigation) and he rejects it. According to him, The Lost Symbol is - The Cycle.

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